Little L is having tubes put in her ears tomorrow morning. I know it is the best thing for her. And I know that it is a no big deal outpatient procedure.
But
I'm still super uneasy. I don't like the thought of her going under anesthesia. It just makes me nervous.
And my stupid drama queen brain. I caught myself several times today smoothing her hair back behind her ear and thinking "what if this is the last time I get to do that?"
I love this little girl so much more than I was even aware a person could love. I thought I knew the breadth and depth of love. I didn't know jack. I look at her and I see infinite potential packaged up in the most adorable little precious girl. I'm consummately proud of her - and I never want to be far from her.
I know that she will be fine. And I will be fine too. But for tonight, I suppose I need to let my brain work through its fears. Irrational though they may be.
- a
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