birth control and the three day decision

My husband and I had made the decision to have 2 children. period. two. and we have to beautiful children. a son and a daughter. no reason to long for that little girl or little boy - we have one of each.

and yet.

My pregnancies haven't been what one would call enjoyable - and one of them was even high risk. I don't enjoy being pregnant. I, in fact, truly dislike being pregnant.

and yet.

I've been having these dreams the past couple of weeks where I find out I'm pregnant, and then find out it's a girl. And it's always a shock, and it's always a mixed bag of excitement and dread. And when I wake up from these dreams, I'm always relieved that they aren't reality.

and yet...

I can't seem to shake the longing for one more child. I'm not that Duggar lady - I don't have any delusions of having 15 kids, I don't even think I would go so far as to have 4 or 5... but it seems like this 3rd baby needs to be born. But I DO REALIZE that I could be under the spell of crazy hormones. And for that reason - I will not make the decision to persue a 3rd child.

However, my husband had offered (and we had previously agreed) that he would have a vasectomy.

After much discussion together, with my mother, and with our family doctor, we have decided not to decide for now. And I'm going to have mirena (I don't know how to spell it) placed for the time being.

If in a couple of years I still want this 3rd baby, we'll discuss it again. And if not? He'll go in and have the vasectomy.

On to the three day decision... (I'll bet you thought I already covered that, huh?)

It's about L, and her school. Currently, she goes to school 2 days a week. And it's great. She loves her school, and she gets great enrichment from being there. She can count to ten in English and Spanish, she can jump, she does the hokey pokey - I didn't teach her those things. Just before H was born, we discussed sending L to school 3 days a week, but I decided at the time that it wasn't what I wanted to do.

Now, I think it might be a good idea.

It's only until 2:30, and 2 of the hours she is away at school, she's napping (and would be if she were here)... So I'm really only missing out on 3 hours of awake L time each day she's gone. And to be honest - right now especially, when she's here I'm not enriching her. I'm struggling to keep up with her. (and to keep her from hurting or killing herself by climbing on various things in the house).

So we may become three-days-a-weekers.

Which would also give me more time to blog...

-a